The Unknown…..

I don’t know about you, I myself have many thoughts and questions related to this “virus.” Actually, I have many emotions related to the current situation happening in our world.

For one I would like to know why we didn’t pay more attention if it had been going on in China since last November, December and now here we are. I would like to know if our government knew and ignored it. I suppose we could place blame. I am sure many of us have feelings of anger, and fear.

Many people do not think it is a big ordeal, they do not feel they are at risk. There are many people who do not realize the risk it put those they love at . They feel that as long as they are careful and use sanitizer ,wash their hands and stay away from people they are safe. When the first reports started coming out it was said that young people were not at risk. This led our younger generations to believe it is okay to frequent their normal daily schedules and visit those they care about. I imagine they feel anger about the fact that many may not get to walk for graduation after all of their hard work and dedication and sacrifice. I imagine that they are angry because this for seniors is suppose to be the best year for them and now, well now they can barely venture out to see the sunshine much less hang out with their friends and participate in activities etc. Some are missing out on spring break activities.

It is not just our young generation that is angry. There are many who have had loved ones pass away and cannot have proper funerals to say goodbye or celebrate their lives and what they meant to them. There are people who spent months planning weddings that would symbolize the happiest day of their life and wanted to share it with friends and family.

Let us not forget those who are angry and fear that they will or have lost their job and are not sure how or when they can get back to caring for their family or how they will eat after their current money runs out. They are surely worried about how they will pay their rent to keep a roof over their heads, how they will pay the light bill, where will they get a job when this is all over, will it be the same job or will they have to get a different job?

What about those who are not able to be “safe” at home? Law enforcement, fire and rescue, nurses, doctors, grocery store workers, gas station attendants, our truck drivers and many many more? I am sure they all feel anger and fear as well. Maybe they are angry that it has taken the country shutting down for people to see how important they are in our world.

Let us think about that for a moment, all those listed above and so many more that go to work each day feeling unappreciated and like their job are not important and like people do not realize what they do is key to our world functioning. I am sure many of us have been reminded of that these last few weeks and if we haven’t realized it yet we will as time goes on. It made me sit and just pause and think about the reality of the situation. Here are what my thoughts brought to me….

Every single one of us have our opinion of what is going on, the who, what, where, why and how. Some do not and never will take it seriously or the impact it has on our communities and our world. One things for sure..Our world will be forever changed by this event.

My own personal worry and fears involve questions like, will my parents make it through this being of older age and having heart conditions and other underlying issues that put them at increased risk? Will I be one of those people that have to worry about burying my parents in such a horrible time? Or maybe it will be my Uncle who is at an extreme risk? Are my children and grandbabies as healthy as we think they are? Will they be casualties in this awful time? What about my son, my strong proud Marine, what will this bring for him? Will this have other impacts that will send him off into danger? What about the others I love so dearly that are at risk? Being a nurse, will I be the one who puts them at risk coming home from work? Did I forget to wash my hands long enough, did I touch something someone else touched? Is someone in my building carrying the virus and not even know it?

Then there is my husband. They say marry the person you can’t bare to live life without. He is definitely my person. He is also at risk. He is in a very important position as he provides information and guidance to his company on the what, when, where and how to keep them all as safe as possible. He is at risk due to the amount of stress he carries on his shoulders daily not only in his position in the company he works for but his position as a husband,a father,a son and dear friend to many. His immune system not as strong as others and age plays a factor. For a moment it crosses my mind “How would I be able to go on without him to share life with everyday?

We all have these thoughts or similar ones, we may have our own different fears and anger. So I asked myself during my pause, my silent moments filled with worry, fear and anger, What can I do about it? What can I do to ensure none of my fears transpire, to ensure I do not lose any of my loved ones? My answer was rather heartbreaking if your anything like me…. there is not a darn thing I can do that will ENSURE none of those things will happen.

All I can do is my very best to take all precautionary measures possible. Wash my hands, wear gloves at work, wear a mask if caring for sick patients. Stay home unless necessary to get out. Be diligent and careful, pay attention to details and be focused.

Some of my patients will not make it past this pandemic. Some people will definitely lose loved ones. Some people will definitely lose their jobs and will struggle to feed their families. Then it came to me… the most important thing I can do, something we should all be doing daily, not just when facing the unknown upon us. We face the unknown each day that God blesses us with the ability to live to see another day. What I can do is…..

I can remember to be compassionate and understanding, loving and kind. I can be kind, compassionate, helpful, understanding and respectful. I can be my very best today for tomorrow is never promised and we tend to forget it can be all gone in an instant. I can pray for others, I can pray for us all. I can make sure that all those I love and care about know just how much they mean to me, today, tomorrow and each day that I am blessed to have them in my life. I can remember that we are all in this together whether some of us believe or some do not, those that don’t understand, those that act in fear or anger, those of us who really just don’t know but feel that we have nothing to lose if we follow the guidelines being given.

The guidelines I choose to follow are those from God. God has never steered me wrong. I will pray to him, I will take my fear and my anger and my worry to him and leave it with him. I will remember that he has a plan in place for each of us. I will do my best each day to be better than yesterday and better tomorrow than today. I trust in him that he will care for me and that I can do all things through him. I will remember what the true meaning of love is and that living through love as God does for us is how I will make it through what ever may come my way through these times of the unknown.

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