That’s Not Very Romantic

Recently I attended an event with my husband, I met so many people. Many I had met before however given that I meet so many different people at one time at these things, I don’t always associate the name with the faces. These events are not my favorite because I have never been one of those women who feel the need to be or do what every one else expects to fit into the group, I always feel I am being judged as I walk in the room. I am just me, I am very satisfied with that. My husband and I mingled with others and found a quiet table where a small group of people joined us. My husband very graciously introduced me to those I hadn’t met.

He was middle aged as I like to consider myself. He was possible a few years older but not by many. He asked me “what do you do?” My husband quickly answers “she’s a nurse” the man smiled kindly and commented about how great that was. We exchanged small talk for a few moments. The man looks at my husband and I and says ” I have got to ask, How did the two of you meet?” I began giving the quick public version, how we meet through a friend of mine, we had been friends for a great many years, ten plus, how we watched each others children grow up and how our lives just never allowed us to unite until we decided it was time to stop ignoring it and we finally got together. The man looked puzzled and says, ” that’s not very romantic.” His next question was “What was the setting when he proposed?” I reluctantly but gracefully answered his question. The conversation stayed in the front of my mind the rest of the night.

For those that know me, I am a complete hopeless romantic. I am the girl that believes love can be just like in the movies. It’s all in how you look at it and what your expectations are. We continued the conversation and discussed similarities being we all have older children on their own. We began talking about the cost of weddings and rings and trips etc since our grown children were around the age of marriage and children. We discussed how this generation likes flashy things and how everything seems to have to be some kind of “big event.” I nodded in agreement, it does for the majority seem as though this generation likes to “announce” things in a big fashion.

The hopeless romantic side of me came out. “I am more of a private person when it comes to parts of my relationship.” I feel the most romantic things are the small intimate moments you share privately with your spouse. I believe the more private and shared merely between the two of you, the more mysterious it is for other people to guess and speculate about, the more special it is between the two of you. The fact that I have been in my husband’s life for a great many years and that I knew very shortly after meeting him that he was the love of my life and that he was the only man for me and now ten years later we are blissfully over the moon for one another was not important to tell him I didn’t feel. We both had previous relationships that didn’t work and used our experience and gained knowledge to prioritize what was important and what valuable lessons we learned from the past to help make our marriage strong and last till the end of our days. I left out the part of my story that everyone knew how my husband and I felt about each other over the years because neither of us had to say a word yet EVERYONE knew we had seen or spoken to each other. I do believe my children and family told me I had this glow to me and my eyes smiled when I had been around him or had spoken to him. It was impossible to hide my admiration for him throughout the years and though I had attempted to love others my heart from the very beginning had his name on it, sign, sealed and delivered. He wasn’t aware back then, but I was head over heels in love with him.

The night went on and I just couldn’t get the discussion from dinner out of my mind. I sat in the quiet of the night asking myself ” That’s not romantic?” I beg to differ. It depends on what romantic is in your eyes. Romance to me is the fact that no matter how busy, my husband calls me throughout the day to check on me and see how my day is going. He often asks me to meet him for breakfast if I worked the night before or to lunch if I happen to be off. Any little extra moments we can steel, we take advantage of. On the mornings we are home together we sit in the quiet, watching the sun come up with our cups of coffee and talk about our week and anything else that comes to mind. This is mutually our favorite time spent together. My husband travels for work. I make it a priority that I always put a hand written note somewhere within his suitcase or work bag, letting him know how very loved and missed he is while he is away. My world is not right until he returns and as his plane lands back on the ground in our hometown I post a simple very true sentence, “My world is right again.” We always eat dinner together when one of us isn’t gone. We never go to bed angry. We never leave the house without saying I love you. He always opens my doors, to include my car door. Where ever we are when we get out of the car, he holds out a bent elbow for me to grab his arm and walks me to where ever our destination is. This is another favorite of mine. I am the “mushy gushy” one in the relationship as he describes me. He tells me I am much better at expressing my emotions than he is. His attempts and effort to try are endearing and adorable. It’s the look in his eyes when he looks at me that tells me his secrets.

As a little girl I too had this vision in my head of my prince charming. The man I would be so in love with and spend the rest of my life with. My life with this man…. is more than I ever could have dreamed of. To say he is my best friend, my confidant, the love of my life is an understatement if I have ever heard one. He makes the world a better place. He is my world. I never really knew or understood what it meant to have someone who respected me and showed it. I never knew that love could be so fulfilling. Most of all I never understood how living a simple, honest, humble life, living how God wants us to and holding each other second only to God, could make the happiest life. I could not be more thankful and blessed. Our song is “God Bless The Broken Road” by Rascal Flatts. It couldn’t be more fitting. I would follow this man to the ends of the earth. I’d be at his side in the darkest of battles. I’d live in a one room shack with him if that is all we could manage. I don’t need fancy gifts or big events to feel loved or appreciated because he makes it a point to make sure I know. Our love is immeasurable, it’s value is priceless. The look in his eyes when he looks at me creates a warmth in my heart that can never be replaced. Romance for me is all the little things that you share along the way that end up being the big things in the end. Things are just that, things. Moments and memories well there is where the secret to romance is. Just loving one another to your best ability one day at a time and nurturing your relationship and making choices that allow you to grow with one another and together year after year after year. No ideas of romance are incorrect, it’s what matters most to you that counts, its what your heart tells you when you truly listen and hear its message. Dear sir…… It IS that romantic!